Day 6 (10th August)
Today is a Sunday, and the day before the wedding... so lots of things to do and finalise.
But bwoy, I had woken up in Ngungumbane, a place which I had last been to or seen (apart from trying to zoom in on Google Maps) about 11 years ago. As I woke up (late, compared to the rest of mankind here) I surveyed the area to see what kind of change has happened. The place looks dry... cause in my head, I had visions of bright green vegetation and lush surroundings. But then, it was the final stages of the Cold and Dry winters that we get here in the Southern Hemisphere...
My dad was already out and about, shouting instructions and commands to the young men that had come to help us. There was water to be fetched from the nearest borehole. Now there are 3 boreholes nearby and they all give different tasting water for some reason. The preferred one was used. I cant remember the river that its near to. Not Skwawuli river, but another one... dang, it will come back to me. There was also firewood to be collected and not to mention the big three legged cast-iron pots that are so popular in Zimbabwe (Amabhodo). They come in different sizes and the biggest we had was so huge that a full cow could fit and be cooked in it - (after slaughter obviously). duh!
I tried to make myself useful here and there and it was fun. I also rustled up some breakfast for the two of us and I have to say my culinary skills are still there. After licking our fingers with goodness of the breakfast, it was time to paint the stones that line up the road leading to our homestead and the chief's. There was not much paint to use, so after adding a bit of water, it did the trick.
Now, in Zimbabwe, you cannot just slaughter your cows anymore as when you feel like it. You now have to acquire a licence/authority certificate from the Police to verify that the animal belongs to you and has not been stolen. However, with the problems of petrol, the Police wanted to be ferried from their Police station (at our own cost) and be ferried back to Buhwa - and thats not a short distance. So, we waited foe the chief and when he arrived, his authority was good enough to proceed with the slaughter.
I was taken to go and choose the 1st cow to be slaughter. After a bit of a selection, one was chosen and on to the ground it went after slaughter. I will spare you the details on how it was done cause some animal lovers will get onto me... As always, amantshontsho were eaten with pride and before you knew it, it was nightfall. Eating braai meat under the moon is a nice experience!!!
Day 7 (11th August)
WEDDING DAY!!
Last night, the coach-load of guests had arrived from Bulawayo and everything was good to go. Me and my brother woke up early at 6am to clean the fire area, get rid of yesterday's ashes and start a new fire! This is where my Pathfinder skills came in handy... and after a lot of smoke, I got the fire going... Talk about skills!
However, before we could get ready for the wedding, we still had another cow to prepare. On to the kraal we went and on to the ground a 2nd cow went. But this time, I did not have time to stick around for the mantshontsho's... although some people did stay and prepared the animal. I went back to get dad ready.
By 9.30am we had washed and was making sure my dad looked slick!!! and SLICK he looked as well. His suit was 'tight'/'off-the-hizzle' and he looked Dappa! Off to the church we went...
As typical black people, the ceremony was due to start at 10pm but 11pm we were still waiting for the whole thing to start... i dont know what was delaying things, but hey, it did. Finally it did start and the whole thing went beautifully! I cant believe my dad's got married twice before I have got married for the 1st time!! Bummer! The bride looked fantastic and gorgeous! As per the usual, the wedding stuff happened and we left for the homestead. My dad wanted to do traditional, so he arranged for an ox-drawn cart to ferry him and his wife back to the homestead! Thanks a proper traditional Bentley for you there!
Arriving back at the homestead, there was LOADS of people there! Homes are a fair distance apart in this nick of the woods and to see so many people tells you that a lot of them had walked DISTANCES to be here!!! And this was well appreciated! The reception kicked off well and the rest of the day was nice. I was just busy running around doing errands and maximizing the walkie-talkies I had brought. "Roger, 1,2,3.." "Over and out" Lol...
We had so much fun and the bride looked gorgeous when she changed to her reception outfit. Gifts were flowing all over the place...
After such a long day ( and a long session of 'ukulaya') it was time for me to leave with the coach load. If I didnt get this coach, then getting back to Bulawayo was going to be a problem. Buses dont run anymore in this part of the country. Trains do run - but there is only one train per day and it comes when it feels like. A 10pm train has been known to arrive at 9am the next morning. Trains dont have lights anymore - so you have to bring your own candles or torches. Doors dont work and windows are no longer known.
At midnight, we all squeezed into the 30-seater coach and off we went... the journey now continues in Day 8...
Day 8 (12th August)
The coach left and because we were so full, I had to carry this 6 year old boy on my lap for the whole journey.
It all started well, but then the coach started struggling... When it came to hills, it would not move... when it did, it moved on the 5th gear... bad idea when you have limited diesel! It was painful watching the bus struggle and it finally came to a halt in Zvishabane! This was now 5am!!! It took us so much time just to move such a small distance. Some of us got off the bus to stretch our legs and the driver went underneath to see what he can do. He reckoned the Oil Filter was dirty and needed cleaning. After an hour doing what he needed to do, the filter was back and we tried again. Bwoy, did the bus move this time... Flawless it was... when it came to hills, it just whizzed like a powered bus!!!
On the way, as expected, we were stopped in roadblocks and some tried to squeeze money out of us, but failed...
Eventually by 10am we were nearing Bulawayo and after being stopped by Police, the coach eventually ran out of diesel. This was exactly on the 10km mark out of Bulawayo. By this time, we were so hungry that some of us decided to walk to the nearest shops... Very wishful idea. After walking a couple of kilometres, i was tired... and the little boy had decided to stick with me as well and he was TIRED!! We found a place to buy some eggs and soft drinks... ZW$800 billion for a small can of Coke/Fanta. Outrageous!
A lifeline came in the form of Fiso's dad who drove from Bulawayo with a can of diesel and rescued us. Arriving at the City Hall, we were tired and I just wanted to go home... But first I had to arrange my Coach ticket for my travel back to South Africa. After some enquiries at the Greyhound shop, I decided on a Citiliner coach ticket for ZAR255 to travel on Wednesday 13th Aug at 2pm.
Getting home, I SLEPT!!! Thanks to Nothando for preparing some food for us, cause we surely needed it. There was no electricity, so she had to cook it outside in the fire. And this is the city!!!
After some rest, we proceeded to make a couple of visitations and eventually ended up in Nketa 9 with the Msimanga family. I also got the chance to meet my cousing Nzu as well.
Day 9 (13th August)
Waking up in Nketa 9 (after deciding not to go home last night), I asked my brother to go collect my bags in Pumula East and rendezvous back in Nketa 9. Again, we had to quickly make breakfast - cause electricty and water could just go off.
I was a laid back morning and eventually I got my stuff ready - but my brother was nowhere to be seen. Calling him, he was like "Im waiting for the kombies at Number 6 and been waiting here for 45 minutes" Not wanting to take a chance, I decided to make my way to the coach station with or without my bags. I had my passport with me, which was the most important thing.
Arriving at the Greyhound office, I checked in and waited for the coach. "Excuse me sir, but your ticket says you should have caught yesterday's coach" WHAT??????? Fumbling with my ticket, I realised the idiot of a woman who printed my ticket had printed the 12th August instead of 13th August!!! You must be kidding me!!! How can the woman print the same date as the date that I'm buying the ticket - especially when I had asked her when the next coach was!! The guy (driver) was adamant that I would not travel as the coach was fully booked. And to make matters worse, I had got another cousin of mine to swap coaches from Senator Coaches to Citiliner so that we could travel together... and now I wasnt going to be able to...
After some negotiations (more like begging to be honest and trying to make a scene that THEY had made a mistake) the guy decided that if there was a "no-show" then I could do. Time draggggggggggged!!! Eventually, the guy said there was one space free and they would need to change my ticket - and that would cost an extra ZAR51. WHAT??? Hold on!! You printed the wrong date and now you want me to pay for your error???? Unfortunately, this is Zimbabwe and you have no right as a consumer. I paid it gritting my teeth!
We left at 2.30pm (probably me delaying them) and after re-moving a couple of people within the coach, I managed to sit with my cousin Anita. I had not seen her for YEARS!!! and she was grown woman now too!.
The journey was fine until we reached the border where we arrived at 6pm (the South African border) and queued until 1am!!! 6 hours queuing!! I was soooo tired. The SA immigration guys were on some sort of go-slow strike... they were taking their time... We had queue on the Zim side but was not as bad as the SA side... Man!! those guys are just off their heads!!! I was hungry, tired and vexed!!!
Day 10 (14th August)
As we left the border at 1am... I just slept... until I woke up when we were near Pretoria...
We arrived at Johannesburg at 8am and Anita took me to her cousin's place just near Park Central. IT gave me the chance to freshen up and catch some little zzzzzz's... Then I wanted to hit the streets of Joburg and experience the rush and culture.
Johannesburg city centre is PACKED!! There's so much kombies (minibuses) and people going about their business and selling things on EVERY corner of the streets!! There are people selling fruits and veg and everything you can think of... including pap (sadza) and meat... proper hot foods. and then you have the really posh and expensive malls which you look twice at before you enter the shop. Everything you can find from a shop in UK, you will find it there - of the same quality as well. However, you have to be VERY careful and aware of your surroundings cause they can rob you - 'ukubamba inkundla'- in broad daylight. People are robbed left right and centre! ITs unreal!! You have to make sure you dont stick out like a sore thumb. Make sure you dont look tourist like. Wearing my ghetto outfit, I blended in successfully! lol. However, because of time, I could not manage to find anything to brig home with me...
Later on, my uncle Fa came to collect me from work and we drove to collect his kids - Kimo and Bobo... Because we were late in collecting them from school, we had to pay fines - they dont ramp you know!! And the school is protected by armed police/security with razor wire fences and electric fence! Thats what I call protection. Kimo and Bobo were sooooo happy to see me and likewise as well.
Arriving home, we had a fantastic dinner and reminisced on the photos I had taken from Zimbabwe!
Day 11 (15th August)
5am I woke up to get ready for my journey to the OR Tambo Airport. It was still dark!! I dont know how people can wake up when its still dark and be out of the house by 6am. Sunrise came as we travelled to the airport and I got to sightsee some of Johannesburg. By 7am we arrived at the airport and I checked in and said my goodbyes to my uncle... such a sad moment. As a below-knee amputee, Qatar Airlines provided me with a wheelchair and I was immediately whisked off to the boarding gate and processed through security like a celebrity. Its nice to get this VIP treatment. Oh, and before I checked in, I requested my seat to be changed to a window-seat and they obliged. I was taken into the aircraft via a separate door and it was nice!!! lol...
Anyways, 8 hours later I arrived in Doha in Qatar and waited 6 hours for my connecting flight. I went to ask if I can come out of the airport for some sightseeing and they asked me what kind of a passport I have. Zimbabwean I said - No sorry, you have to stay here... Such a bummer when you have a Zim passport.
Day 12 (16th August)
7am I arrived at London Gatwick Airport and was quickly met by my Support Services, as they whisked me again past the long queues for Immigration and past the Customs as I told them I had nothing to declare... which was true as I had not brought anything... "You sure you dont have meat?" they asked me... "Yeah man... defo!"
... and I was back in England!
Woke up early this morning to get ready for my flight. Had a nice comfortable sleep (only I know why) but lets just say I was not freezing cold.
I woke up at 6ish to find myself cruising 30,000 feet above Malawi, going towards Zimbabwe. At one point, I was so sure I was above Ngungumbane arriving in Joburg at 7am. I was whisked off in a wheelchair through immigration and customs like a celebrity. Just as I was getting used to this, I found myself being followed by a sniper dog. Phew, good thing I left my ganja at home! lol.
